Karen's Ramblings

My new blog

2005-08-31T22:41:00.000-05:00

www.xanga.com/KarenE86

2005-08-20T22:16:00.000-05:00

Newsflash: If you talk about me behind my back, Im gonna find out. Also, when you lie to me, not only am I gonna find out but Im gonna be more pissed off then I was to begin with. And you really dont wanna piss me off.

2005-08-18T21:19:00.000-05:00

Wow, this past week I took a look at my life and said "how the hell do I get myself in these situations?!" For someone who doesn't like a lot of drama, I could write a soap opera right now. The situation that Ive managed to get myself twisted up in is so crazy that I dont even know what to think. One of my friends told me to just take myself out of the situation all together which would actually probably be the best thing to do but its hard to just let everything go when your attached. Even with all the complicated junk, its been a great week. Tuesday night I met Dustin at Waffle House, theres nothing I love more in the middle of night than a waffle! Wednesday I went to the movies with J which was really cool cause I haven't got to spend alot of time with her this summer. After that it was off to the park with Dustin at 1 am. Then I was woken up this morning by the phone, errrrr, and went to a friend's for more drama. Im really proud of myself though cause I actually put everything out in the open and said exactly what I felt. Very rare moment for me but I feel A LOT better now. Oh yeah, I started Phillys on Tuesday. So far Ive just worked like 2-3 hr shifts but I really like it. I really need to crack down on studying the menu, I have to know what goes on every sandwhich. It just sucks that Ive gotta drive 30 minutes to and from work, I absolutely hate driving. If I wasnt a poor college student, Id seriously pay someone to drive me around. Just gotta week till I move!!! Im so ready to move and get out of here.

Goodbye to the D's

2005-08-15T22:08:00.000-05:00

Today was my last day at Captain D's and it was very bittersweet. Yesterday was the last day I worked with a few people I loved to death: D, Austin, and Nicole. Nicole and Austin both gave me hugs and D called me after she got off work to tell me bye so we both wouldnt be crying in the store. I was really glad Ashley worked a few hours for Amber today cause shes my fave person there and I really wanted to spend my last day w/ her. Ive grown pretty close to her and even told her a few secrets that no one else knows, I really hope we still hang out. I had to close with Chasity, this girl I cant even tolerate but it wasnt as bad as I thought it was gonna be. I'm just glad there will be no more drive thru and tarter sauce! However, I am gonna miss everyone there.

Why

2005-08-14T19:58:00.000-05:00

I saw them out together and my heart dropped to the floor. Why does he hang out with everyone BUT me? Why am I not good enough for him? Am I not pretty enough? Smart enough? What is it gonna take for him to open his eyes? I thought we had developed at least some form of connection these past months. I've really grown to care about him a lot but he obvisouly doesnt care about me. I've had it, I can't sit around and be treated like this. I will never know why I'm not good enough for him but I think its his loss and not mine.

2005-08-11T21:16:00.000-05:00

My beautiful roses Alisa got me

2005-08-11T21:15:00.000-05:00

Me and Shawn

2005-08-11T21:12:00.001-05:00

Me and Alisa

2005-08-11T21:12:00.000-05:00

Me and Shawn

2005-08-11T21:11:00.000-05:00

Shawn and Alisa

2005-08-11T21:10:00.000-05:00

Me and my mom

Karen's Gas Fund

2005-08-09T14:28:00.000-05:00

Well Saturday I finally got off my lazy butt and went looking for a job. Had a few minor set backs but it all turned out well. Got all dressed up, looked good, and then decided i should finally check my oil like my dad has been suggesting for a while. Oil was on low, freaked out, called the first guy on my phone list, and then i was safely on my way to Johnson City. Was in the process of getting and filling out applications in that shopping center with Old Navy and all that good stuff in it when it started raining pretty hard, and of course I was wearing a white shirt. Chilled in the car texting and talking till the rain slowed down then was back on my way. Went to Phillys Subs, talked to Allie (one of my brothers) whose parents own the place and need to replace her when she goes off to Europe in a few weeks. So this morning I woke up got up early on my day off and was off to Johnson City for an interview with Phil. Interview went really good, Phil was extremely nice and kept getting more and more excited as he told about the place and showed me around. He said he wanted to hire, but first he needed to call and check out my references and would give me a call. Well by the time I had made it to the Ross parking lot for an interview, Phil called and asked me if i could start sooner than the 24th cause he wanted to go ahead and train me before school started. So, YAY i have a job! I'm excited and the store hours are awesome: Monday through Thursday they close at 9, Friday and Saturday at 10, and theyre closed on Sundays!! Of course I'll be off on Thursdays for Deltasig so now I know for sure what 2 days I'll be off and that will be easy on making plans. Im not gonna work a lot, 20 hours at the most. Before I went home, I stopped by the D's to break the news to Nicole. I felt bad that Im leaving a week earlier then what I told them but oh well. She was upset but really nice about it. So now Im gonna be driving to JC while gas prices are sky high and thats why Im starting a Karen Gas Fund. If you want to contribute just let me know!

Mariah Carey "Shake It Off"

2005-08-08T22:07:00.000-05:00

I gotta shake you off
Cause the loving ain’t the same
And you keep on playing games
Like you know I’m here to stay
I gotta shake you off
Just like the Calgon commercial
I really gotta get up outta here
And go somewhere
I gotta shake you off

Gotta make that move
Find somebody who
Appreciates all the love I give
Boy I gotta shake you off
Gotta do what’s best for me
Baby and that means I gotta
Shake you off
By the time you get this message
It’s gonna be too late
So don’t bother paging me
Cause I’ll be on my way
See I grabbed all my diamonds and clothes
Just ask your momma she knows
You’re gonna miss me baby
Hate to say I told you so
Well at first I didn’t know
But now it’s clear to me
You would cheat with all your freaks
And lie compulsively
So I packed up my Louis Vuitton
Jumped in your ride and took off
You’ll never ever find a girl
Who loves you more than me

I gotta shake you off
Cause the loving ain’t the same
And you keep on playing games
Like you know I’m here to stay
I gotta shake you off
Just like the Calgon commercial
I really gotta get up outta here
And go somewhere
I gotta shake you off
Gotta make that move
Find somebody who
Appreciates all the love I give
Boy I gotta shake you off
Gotta do what’s best for me
Baby and that means I gotta
Shake you off

I gotta shake, shake, shake, shake, shake it Off…
I found out about a gang
Of your dirty little deeds
With this one and that oneBy the pool, on the beach, in the streets
Heard y’all was
Hold up my phone’s breakin’ up
I’ma hang up and call the machine right back
I gotta get this off of my mind
You wasn’t worth my time
I’ve leaving you behind
Cause I need a real love in my life
Save this recording becauseI’m never coming back home
Baby I’m gone
Don’t cha know

I gotta shake you off
Cause the loving ain’t the same
And you keep on playing games
Like you know I’m here to stay
I gotta shake you off
Just like the Calgon commercial
I really gotta get up outta here
And go somewhereI gotta shake you off
Gotta make that move
Find somebody who
Appreciated all the love I give
Boy I gotta shake you of
fGotta do what’s best for me
Baby and that means I gotta
Shake you off
[bridge]

Text Away

2005-08-05T23:23:00.000-05:00

Feel free to send me text messages (or picture msgs) now. After last months major texting overage, I increased my plan to 300 msgs a month. Now ya'll don't have to worry about me sayin something about unneccessary msgs!

2005-07-24T21:26:00.000-05:00

This weekend was just what I needed, especially after last week. Being off work was a treat in itself but what really topped the weekend off was getting to spend a lot of time with my 2 best friends, Alisa and Shawn. I'm the most comfortable around them and a conversation with them can always get me out of my bad moods. I love all ya'll!! I have to give a special thanks to Dustin for this past week...he listened to me go on and on for 4 hours Tuesday night. If it hadn't been for that animal and my being paranoid at 3 am, I probably would have bitched longer. I started thinking today that maybe there is a time in your life when you should be a little selfish. Yeah, its good to be considerate of other's feelings but after 18 years it seems like its went way past caring about everyone else in that I've set aside what I wanted to make everyone else happy. I feel like I'm always the one thats going out of my way to do anything I can for the people in my life and sometimes its like they don't care about me at all. I love my family to death but I've gotta get out of this house. I feel guilty cause I know they need me to be around and I don't want them to think I'm packing my bags and leaving right at the time they need me most. But for me, I need to leave. I think 19 is the year for me to make myself happy instead of everyone else. Which Ive got about a month before I move into Lucy!! I'm really nervous about it but I'm extremely excited.

2005-07-23T19:22:00.001-05:00

Me and Shawn

2005-07-23T19:22:00.000-05:00

Alisa's tattoo. Can you guess where its at on her body?

2005-07-23T19:21:00.000-05:00

Shawn and Me at the lake.

2005-07-23T19:20:00.000-05:00

Party in the back and business in the front. This was one of the many mullets me and Shawn found last night.

2005-07-23T19:18:00.000-05:00

Alisa and Me

2005-07-19T21:34:00.000-05:00

For those that have obvisouly forgotten or just don't give a damn, I DO HAVE FEELINGS!!!

Forgiveness and Friendship

2005-07-15T20:36:00.000-05:00

Forgiveness is a very tricky thing for me. I can forgive but never forget. I use to just shut the person off that had hurt me but in these past few months I've gotten into the habit of letting the past be the past. But when a friend hurts you more than you can imagine and in a way that totally messes up, what then? I cherish my close friends more than anything in the world and never hold grudges against them cause they mean so much to me. But this is a whole different story. Ive come to terms with what happened but I dont think I can continue with the friendship. I respect that he realizes what he did was wrong and he is sincerely sorry but this cut was just too deep. Our friendship is now filled with fear instead of trust. Part of me does what to continue being friends with him but I really dont think I can. But then I can't help but feel as if I'm being cold. I think this battle is worth fighting and Im going to stand my ground!

A Zen Saying

2005-07-12T13:43:00.000-05:00

To understand God is to listen, listen to Jesus and Muhammed and Buddha; but don't get caught up in the names. Listen beyond them; listen to God's breath.

It's Summer Time!

2005-07-09T22:09:00.000-05:00

I had my finals Friday, Lit wasn't that bad but Prob. & Stats. was absolutly horrible. I don't think I did all that good but I'm trying my best not to worry about it cause theres nothing I can do about it now. I'm just glad classes are over with, no more getting up at 5:30 am and no more spending all my free time studying!! Its time to lay back, chill, and just enjoy the summer. Besides work, Im not obligated to do anything but have fun and that feels pretty damn good. Today was a good kick off. I was woken up by Nicole, who was just a little frantic, around 11:00. I agreed to go to Johnson City with her for a "quick trip" and got home around 4. It's all good though cause we went shopping and had a lot of fun. Then it was off to the movies to see Madagascar. That was the cutest movie!! I already love penguins but even if I didn't, they still would have been my favorites! Give me a hollar if ya wanna chill.

2005-07-06T13:44:00.000-05:00

"My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither, but just enjoy your ice cream while it's on your plate-- that's my philosophy."

--Thornton Wilder

This song says it all (except for the whole marrying thing)

2005-07-02T23:56:00.000-05:00

Avril Lavigne
"Things I'll Never Say"

I’m tugging at my hair, I’m pulling at my clothes
I’m trying to keep my cool, I know it shows I’m staring at my feet
My checks are turning red, I’m searching for the words inside my head

Chorus:
I’m feeling nervous, Trying to be so perfect
Cause I know you’re worth it, You’re worth it, Yeah
If I could say what I want to say, I’d say what about you
Be with you every night, Am I squeezing you too tight
If I could say what I want to see, I want to see you go down
On one knee, Marry me today
Yes, I’m wishing my life away
With these things I’ll never say

It don’t do me any good
It’s just a waste of time
What use is it to you
What’s on my mind
If ain’t coming out
We’re not going anywhere
So why can’t I just tell you that I care

[Chorus]

What’s wrong with my tongue
These words keep slipping away
I stutter, I stumble off
Like I’ve got nothing to say

[Chorus]

Open Emotions

2005-06-30T13:00:00.000-05:00

Anyone who knows me knows that I'm about as far as you can be from being open with my emotions. There are so many times when I really do want to say how I feel and I get really close to talking myself into saying it but then something stops me. Lately there has been a couple people thats been pushing me to be more open. I can tell when they look me in the eyes that theyre trying to read my emotions so I always turn my head. I'm just not comfortable expressing my emotions but I really wish I was. I think I'd be a lot better off if I could say how I felt. If I partially know how the person Im talking to response will be like then its not as hard to tell him how I feel but I cant just put it all out there when I have no clue whats going through the other person's head. I dont want to get hurt but now Im starting to wonder if Im only hurting myself more by keeping it all in. Maybe I can start taking baby steps and eventually be able to tell people how I feel.

2005-06-26T21:20:00.000-05:00

Last night me, Alisa, Nicole, and Whitney attempted to go to 2nd Level. We waited in line for an hour and there was still about 10 people between us and the door so we finally said screw that and went to The Planet. That was the best decision we've made in a very long time cause last night was one of the best saturday nights in a few months. It was also the first night that I've actually not thought about what happened a few weeks ago (yay, im making progress!) but anyways. It took us forever and day to leave cause of these two guys but thats alright cause now we'll have a good laugh everytime we think of them. If anything else had been what kept me from getting home till 5 I wouldve been slightly annoyed but last night was most def. worth it. Work didn't seem all that bad cause my feet are still numb from last night so I don't feel all that tired. The best thing about work is the my girl J is workin there now! I've missed her a lot since I left the BK so now Im excited we get to work together again! Oh, I should be getting back my 2nd Prob. & Stats. test tomorrow so cross your fingers for me.

Let Loose

2005-06-21T14:08:00.000-05:00

Well, I struggled through the 2nd week of school. Between working 40 hours, homework, and everything that was going on in my personal life, I didnt think anything else could possibly go wrong. Thursday was the day I about lost my mind and it was also the day I started to let loose. After freaking out for 2 hours at school and being so stressed I could barely think straight, I knew I needed a break even though I had A LOT of homework to do. So I went to see a friend who most def. calmed me down (hanging out with him always clears my mind) then I went home and started reading as fast as I could so I could make it to J's party. Relaxing in the hot tub and just chillin with everyone was exactly what I needed (Thanks for inviting me J, I had a lot of fun!). Friday I was still stressed so I called in "sick" from work and went to the movies with some friends. Saturday night a bunch of us went to 2nd Level which always puts me in a good mood. There was a little bit of drama that night (damn bitches, lol)but we had a lot of fun. I'm ready for the weekend again! Only 2 and 1/2 wks of school left!!

1st week

2005-06-09T18:12:00.000-05:00

The 1st week of school is almost over! Yay, only 4 more to go! I kept telling myself, along with everyone else who told me I was crazy, that summer school wouldnt be so bad but now that I'm getting up at 5:30 am I'm starting to think that maybe it is just a little crazy. Oh well, at least Im getting these classes out of the way. I didn't think there would be as many cars on the road so early, instead of having the interstate to myself it can get pretty backed up.
Also, this has been the 1st week in a long time that I've experienced a lot of inner anger. Something upset me over the weekend and at first it bothered me but I didn't really think about because I was to busy telling myself to breathe. But since then, I have just gotten angrier and angrier about the whole thing and I'm not sure how to let it out. It's been a very long time since I've been this mad and I've actually forgotten how to deal with it. I've found myself just going out for a drive a lot lately, I guess it helps clear my mind.
As much as I love everyone who stops by and suprises me, please start calling before you pull into my driveway (with the exception of Alisa). My grandmother is home right now and she's really paranoid so she freaks out when a car pulls in unexpected, especially at night. So please give me the heads up that you'll be dropping by so my grandmother doesnt call the cops on ya or something.

Sleep, What Sleep?

2005-05-31T22:54:00.000-05:00

Most students spend the summers sleeping in and catching up on the sleep they miss throughout the school year. I am the total opposite, theres just something about the summer that makes me not be able to sleep. I was actually doing pretty good this summer until 2 weeks ago; Saturday night/Sunday morning I went to sleep about 5 am and slept till 2 and every since then my late nights have started. No matter what I do, even if I take sleeping pills, I can't sleep till about 3 or 4 am. Its not that Im lazy or anything during the day, I still get up at 9:30...even working 11 hours doesnt put me to sleep. As much as it sucks not being able to sleep, good things have come out of it. I've found that I think differently late night, I think its because all my guards are let down. The glitz of the day is gone and I can see whats real. I've come to many realizations this past week, especially about certain people in my life. When you are with a person all you think about is how great they are, but at 2 am you see how they really are. You realize what aspects your friends are shady about what they want out of the friendship. Another great thing is that it gives me time to do the boring things in life. The first few nights of not being able to sleep, I spent my time reading or watching tv (I must confess that Taxi Cab Confessions is the funniest thing Ive ever watched, youve just gotta love drunk people in Vegas). But now I am spending these useless hours cleaning and doing laundry so during the day I have more time to hang out w/ my friends. Even though it does have positives to it, I'm hoping that when I start school next Monday I will be able to sleep so I can make it to campus by 8 am!

2005-05-22T21:11:00.000-05:00

"They slept without dreams
and woke without worries.
Easy come, easy go. They
took life as it came, gladly..."

--Chuang- Tzu, On the True Men and Women of Old.

Flashback Breakfast

2005-05-21T11:58:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I met some friends from high school at IHOP, we hadn't talked in a year so we had a lot of catching up to do. I was really suprised when Becky invited me and I had a lot of respect for her when the first thing she said was "I know we didn't leave on the best of terms but high school is over with and I think we should put all that behind us." After she said that I knew it was worth getting up early to see them. No one told me that Ashley M. was gonna be there so when I walked in and saw her the first thing I thought was 'hell no.' But then I figured what happened between us back in junior year didn't matter anymore and life is all about having a good time which was what I was there for so I took a deep breath and talked to Ashley. After summing up what we had all being into the past year we didn't really know what to say to one another but it didn't too long for us to gossip and talk about guys as if a single day hadn't passed since we were good friends. It was fun reliving memories from when we first started high school but I was very happy that we still have stuff in common and were able to talk about more than just high school.

2005 Key Club Banquet

2005-05-17T21:20:00.000-05:00

Shawn, Jaclyn, Amy, and me.

Tonights Key Club banquet felt so weird. First of all, it was just weird being at Volunteer again. This past year I didn't really think about high school very much but walking into the commons area brought back SO many memories. Like in the back of my mind, I expected to look over and see everyone at "our" table just like old times. It also felt weird to see everyone after we've lost touch. Some people I thought I couldn't live without them. I wish they were still as such a big part in my life like they were before. The weirdest thing was watching the banquet from an outsiders point of view. Key Club played a very huge role in my life for 2 years, especially my senior year. Last year KC pretty much booked up my calendar with meetings every Tuesday, then Kiwanis meetings afterwards, and at least one activity almost every weekend. I was happy to see everyone again but I just didn't think it not being a part of my life anymore would hit me so hard. My life one year ago is nothing at all like it is now. However, I don't prefer one over the other. I don't wish I could go back to Volunteer and everything be the same again and at the same time I don't have any bad feelings about high school or wish I could go back and change things. Sure I have my regrets but I think those are the things in life that teach you lessons and help you out later down the road. I guess I realized that high school was a whole different world. I'm so thankful for all the memories I have with KC, those are things I'll never forget. It still brings tears to my eyes to watch the video Shawn made last year.

Happy Birthday Shawnee!

2005-05-14T23:29:00.000-05:00

I met Shawn back in 8th grade and we've been bestest friends ever since. I know we've changed a little this past year and that our lives have changed but he still holds a place in my heart and always will. We've had so many great memories together: Moulin Rouge, hiking, trash barrell painting, bowling, Dollywood, Prom, Key Club, and just hanging out. Shawn, sorry I didn't throw you a "suprise" party this year but if you really want to go to Hooters again then just let me know. I'm very grateful to have such a great friend and I wouldn't be the same person if he hadn't been a part of my life. I want to think him for just being him. Love ya Shawn, Happy 19th B-day!

Support Small Businesses

2005-05-14T10:31:00.000-05:00

Business wise, we live in a very tough world. Not only is it hard to compete but its even harder to come out on top. Recently my favorite business of all time threw in the towel. Tomorrow is Allgood Video's last day of business. I've been renting videos there since Ron first opened it 12 years ago. Not only did Ron have my number memorized, he would also be completely honest with me about movies. He would tell me if the movie was a piece of crap and he also knew my taste in movies well enough to know if I'd like it or not. I've always been a loyal customer of Allgood's (in fact I cant remember the last time they charged me for a late fee), I've bought at least half of my movies from there. Their first blow came when Blockbuster built a store by Wal-Mart, then the second blow came from Movie Stars. I've most def. been guilty of renting at a few other places lately but its still sad to see them go. The next time you have the option of choosing a chain businesss or a small business, pick the small one. The small businesses have more personality and character and they will also appreciate your business a lot more.

Obstacle Course

2005-05-11T11:58:00.000-05:00

Life is just one huge obstacle course. We are frequently faced with new problems and challenges. It doesn't seem all that bad when you only have to deal with one problem at a time. But why is when one thing goes wrong, everything else does too. At first I thought it was because you were in a negative frame of mind and things just seemed to go downhill. That may be true sometimes, however other times your world really does come crashing down. So, what do you do then? Nothing at all is going right in any aspect of your life, you constantly have a billion thoughts going through your mind, you don't feel like yourself at all, and you can't do anything right. The most common advice is to "take things one hurdle at a time." This is a lot easier said than done. The only time that its easy is when you can only see one hurdle at a time. I think normally, life shines a spotlight on one problem and everything else is dark so thats the only thing you've got to worry about. But then, for whatever reason, the light shows everything all at once. This makes it impossible to take things one at a time cause not only are you thinking about how to get through the first one, you are staring at all the obstacles ahead. This is when the panic sets in and you are so overwelmed that you can't concentrate on anything. Why are we given WAY more than we can handle? Why does the bottom have to fall out?

A First

2005-05-10T15:49:00.000-05:00

Well, my grades were finally posted on GoldLink today. I made an A in English, that is pretty cool because the only essay I felt like I actually knew what I was writting about was the research essay. I made a B+ in Self and World. A in Intermediate Algebra. The grade I am most proud of is my A in Public Speaking. That is my biggest fear in life and I dreaded that class all semester. Then theres history... which most def. brings truth to "theres a first time for everything"...I made a C+. This is the first C I've ever made for a class. Sure I've a made a couple C's in high school for a 6 weeks grade but never for a class. I know its my own fault, that I should have studied A LOT more. I just can't come to terms to making a C, I feel like a failure.

I'm sorry

2005-05-06T23:21:00.000-05:00

I think one of my previous posts has hurt someone I really care about. The post did NOT have anything to do with that person. The only reason it was written was because of some thoughts I had after reading an article in Glamour magazine and then had a deep discussion with a friend about. I was in no way whatsoever implying that someone had done that to me. The post was about me and no one else. I've realized I have done that to some guys in my past (to them I'm deeply sorry). It breaks my heart and makes me depressed that this person may be mad at me over it. The last thing I'd ever want to do is screw everything up. I'm so sorry Pedro. Please believe that I would never hurt you like that. If I had thought any of that about you then I would have told you, not written it for everyone else to read. I care about you a lot and I really miss talking to you.

School's Out!!!

2005-05-06T12:45:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was my last final! I'm really glad this semester is over with, it most def. had its tough moments. I've pretty successfully gotten my freshman year behind me, only 3 more years to go (more if I decide to get my Masters). Now all I have to do is patiently wait for my grades (haha, me patient! We all know I'll be checking goldlink every day). I finally have the chance to just sit back and relax and hang out w/ my friends who I haven't got to see much of. I learned a lot this year, not just book stuff but also different ways to view things. Not only did I make some new friends, I also really got to know some people I knew from high school but never really knew. All I've heard this year is people talk about how much everyone has changed. I don't think I changed all that much except the fact I'm more comfortable being myself now. So I guess if you didn't know the different sides to me then you'd think I've changed. But my priorities are still exactly the same: my friends still mean the world to me and I still care about my schoolwork (even though I had a couple of meltdowns this past year and I swore up and down I didn't give a damn about it anymore). I've done a couple things that I never thought I'd ever do, such as becoming a telemarketer for awhile, joining a Fraternity (who could have ever guessed that would happen), and the other things I'll just leave between me and the people who were there. Often I've wondered what my life would have been like if I had made different decisions about this past year, sometimes its fun to think about but I'm really glad I made the decisions I made. I wouldn't have had certain opportunities, especially when it came to the people I've met and the ones I've grown closer to. I can honestly say that I wouldn't want my life to be any different.

Breakup Lines

2005-05-05T08:53:00.000-05:00

What can be worse than the cheesy pickup lines we use to meet people? The lines we use to break it off with them. You all you know exactly the ones I'm talking about, such as "its not you, its me", "i need space", and so on. We use the vague lines in order to spare the other person's feelings. But instead of them feeling good about the breakup being done in such a nice way, they are left wondering what really caused the breakup. Did they do something wrong? Is there someone else? Are they just not good enough? Those are a few questions thats left in someone's head after given a vague line. So why do we give people these lines? It obvisouly doesn't spare their feelings. It is because we don't respect them enough to tell them the truth or do we think they won't be handle the truth? After dodging the real reason for ending the relationship, we then preceed to tell them that they are smart, sweet, attractive, etc. We make think that we are comforting them, giving them such nice compliments and all. But instead we're just causing anger and even more questions in their head. Once again, we are being way too vague with the person because if they are really that great then why would we be breaking up with them? Trust me, they'll be left wondering exactly that. I'm not suggesting people be mean during a breakup, just be honest about why the relationship isn't working. Knowing the truth allows the person to have closure, making it easier for them to move on. Yes, sometimes the truth does hurt but its better than not knowing why it happened and being left with the misconception that theres a chance of getting back together in the future. I'll admit it, I'm guilty of using breakup lines. Just let me warn you though, Karma will come back around and you'll end up hearing the exact same line you gave someone else. I think its just lifes little way of showing you exactly what you're doing to other people and how you're making them feel. So the next time you're going to break up with someone, tell them the truth. They deserve to know exactly why the relationship is ending because if you remember, they were part of it.

"Love Me For Me"

2005-05-04T21:00:00.000-05:00

"Here I am, Perfect as I'm ever gonna be; you'll see, love me for me. Stick around, I'm not the kinda girl you wanna leave; you'll see, love me for me."

--Ashlee Simpson.

3 down

2005-05-03T13:42:00.000-05:00

3 Finals down, 2 more to go!!! Monday was a rough day with 3 finals: History at 8 am, Public Speaking at 3:50, and Self and World at 6. Not being a morning person or a history fanatic, I dreaded the history final. The test was kind've hard, however Dr. Day did take out 5 questions and just gave us the points for them along with the 2 bonus questions from Jake (his dog), so I'm hoping I did alright. For Public Speaking all we had do was play Mind Trap for an hour. I'm really glad it didn't matter whether or not we got the answers right cause that game is really hard. Whoever came up with the game had way too much free time on their hands but it is kind've fun. After the game, me and Steve crammed for our Philosophy final. We were totally freaked over Ken Wilber's Fulcrums, trying to memorize all the details of the stages along with the 20 tenents of holons. Luckily, Dr. Quillen also decided to cut us some slack. The test was really easy, in fact in only took about 20 minutes to take and thats including an essay question. 2 more to go and the semester will be over!

Housing Assignment

2005-05-02T07:42:00.000-05:00

After weeks of rushing to the mailbox, I finally got my housing assignment on Saturday. I'll be in Lucille Clement. It was the 3rd choice but its all good cause at least it has air conditioning. My roomate's name is Holly, I'll call her sometime this summer so I can find out what shes like before we move in together. It will be really weird moving out but I'm looking forward to it.

Heartbreak

2005-04-25T22:23:00.000-05:00

As stated in a previous post, my grandmother has been doing really good. In fact, she was doing so good that we had planned to bring her home today for a 16 day trial. If she could manage being by herself while we were at work then we were going to take her out of the nursing home for good. I was so excited cause its just not the same without her here. The more I thought about it, the more I thought she could do it. I have always seen her as a pillar of strength and she is also very stubborn. So I figured if she wanted to come there would be no stopping her and she would be able to stay for good. I went to see her on Friday and she was the best Ive seen her since September. My parents went to see her Saturday night to sign the forms for the 16 day trial. When they got their she was in a wheelchair claiming she couldnt walk to all. She was telling them all this crazy stuff and refused to come home. My parents had no clue what to think cause none of us had seen her like this before. When they were walking out, the nurse told them the doctor wanted to meet with them Monday. Today there was a meeting including the doctor, physical therapist, night nurse, and my parents. They have diagnosed my grandmother with early stages of dementia. The nurses like to call it 'sun downer'. She is the worst at night and she doesnt remember it the next day. They are going to try different kind of medications but there is no cure, it is only going to get worse. They are never going to tell my grandmother about it and my parents had to tell her she wasnt coming home. Shes mad at us now cause she thinks we just dont want her here. I know I need to go see her more often but it breaks my heart to see her like that. All my life she has been my fairy godmother, doing everything in her power to help me when no one else would and it kills me inside to see her on her bad days. You all know Im not much for crying, but when it comes to her thats all I can do.

Initiation

2005-04-18T20:10:00.000-05:00

Initiation was yesterday and luckily I made it through. I've never been so nervous in my life, at first I couldn't help but ask myself what I had gotten myself into. I can't tell you all about it but I can defiantly breathe easy now that its over. My goal during it was to act confident and I think I did I fairly good job at it besides my hands constantly shaking. Now I'm officially a brother so its all good and I'm glad I went through it. We had a cookout afterwards which was fun just to relax and hang out.

2005-04-14T15:04:00.000-05:00

"What you see with your eyes closed is what counts."

--Lame Deer, Lakota Sage

Update

2005-04-12T12:37:00.000-05:00

Here is an update on pretty much everything. I had an awesome week last week. I got to see Travis 3 times so that was cool. Thursday was my final test in Delta Sigma Pi. As you all know, I was really nervous about it cause I had to make at least a 90. Well my final score was....98.2!!!!! I am very happy about that cause I've put a lot of time and energy into it. My big brother has been really supportive and has helped me out a lot so I am very thankful for her. Initiation is this Sunday, I dont really know what to expect except that they are going to ask us questions orally. I went to the nursing home Friday to see my grandmother. Some of you all know that she hasn't been doing very well. When she first went to the nursing home she would have good days and bad days. Starting in January she was having a lot more bad days than good days, it got to the point where she would forget our names and the last time she had talked to us. I would be depressed every time I left the nursing home, it was so hard seeing her that way. I am very happy to report that she is doing a lot better! She has gotten over her fear of falling and is now using a walker every chance she gets, somedays the nurses can't even keep up with her cause she doesnt want to sit down. Now that is more like my grandmother! Hopefully she will keep improving so maybe she can even come home. My parents left for Panama City Saturday morning. Im really glad they went cause they both really needed a vacation. It doesnt seem all the different around the house because I usually dont see them all that much anyways buts its still nice not having them around for awhile. School is getting a little rough...too many tests and papers. I cant wait for the semester to be over with! I'll have a month of rest before Summer school starts in June. I have developed a really bad habit of putting school stuff off. For example, I should be working on my research paper right now but obvisouly Im not. Saturday night, I went out with the girls to celebrate Alisa's birthday. We had so much fun! Travis and his friends ended up showing up there later on that night so that was cool. Once again it was rough making it through work on Sunday but it was worth it. I'm so ready for the weekend...

Happy Birthday

2005-04-09T01:59:00.000-05:00

This weekend two people that mean a lot to me are celebrating their birthdays.

Today is Travis' 22nd birthday. I've known him for three weeks and I'm already totally crazy about him. I'm really glad he's in my life because he is a great guy and he makes me happy. I love spending time with him and most of all, I love seeing his smile.
Tomorrow is Alisa's 19th birthday. She is one of my best friends and I honestly don't know what I would do without her. We have been friends for as long as I can remember and its a great comfort knowing she only lives 5 minutes away. She is the nicest person you'll ever meet, always putting aside what she wants in order to make everyone else happy. She has helped me through a lot over the years and we've shared a lot of fun together. I'll never forget the week at Lipscomb when we had to sneak around the dorm to hide from this weird girl, "the grill master" not being able to start the fire the two times we've had a cookout, or the look on her face during a drag show. One reason I cherish our friendship so much is because we always support one another's decisions even if we don't agree with them. I'm lucky to have someone in my life who I feel free to by myself 24/7. I really do love her like a sister.

Happy Birthday Guys! Lots Of Love!

Fundraiser

2005-04-06T21:58:00.000-05:00

Delta Sigma Pi is having a fundraiser. We are selling glazed Krispy Kreme Doughnuts for $4.00 a dozen. You don't have to pay until they are deliverd which will be on the 21st. If you want to buy a box (or a couple!) just email me and let me know by the 14th.

Good Old Day Light Savings Time

2005-04-04T22:34:00.000-05:00

I had another great weekend. We all went out again Saturday night which was A LOT more fun than last Saturday. I had a better time because Travis came with me and I love spending time with him. Nicole didnt come this time because she was depressed over finding out her boyfriend is going back to Iraq twice instead of just once. It sucked she didn't come cause Alisa and Nancy are wallflowers for 3/4 the night. I had a great night but day lights saving time totally screwed me up. I worked 9 1/2 hours the next day with only 3 hours of sleep...I was dragging the entire day. I could have fallen asleep standing up I was so tired. I caught up on my sleep this morning, missing two of my classes but its all good. At first I hated the time change but now that Im well rested I like it not getting dark so early.

2005-04-02T10:55:00.000-05:00

"Only our own searching for happiness prevents us from seeing it. It is like a
vivid rainbow which you pursue without ever catching it, or a dog chasing its
own tail. Although peace and happiness do not exist as an actual thing or place,
they are always available, and accompany you every instant. "

--Gendun Rinpoche

2005-03-29T22:58:00.000-05:00

Life, we learn too late, is in the living, in the tissue of every day and hour.

--Stephen Leacock

Easter Weekend

2005-03-27T22:08:00.000-05:00

It's always great to get a day off school, who could possibly complain about that? Well my long weekend was filled with both good and bad things, thankfully I can say the good highly outweighed the bad and made the whole weekend better. I met this great guy last weekend who I spent a lot of time hanging out with Thursday and Friday. I was very suprised about how much I enjoyed spending that much time with someone I hardley knew and I'm extremely ecstatic about how giving him my number last weekend has turned out so far. I've never met someone who makes me nervous yet comfortable at the same time. I know that doesn't make any sense; it's really hard to explain. I can't even begin to put in words how I feel right now. Saturday night after work, I went out with the girls to celebrate Nancy's 19th Birthday. I was expecting to have a great night but it didn't turn out the way I thought it would. Girls night out turned into pushing guys away, wishing Travis was there, and just wanting to go home. Easter Sunday I had to work from 12-8 so I missed my family cookout. My parents brought my grandmother home from the nursing home for the day and my other grandparents were there but I didn't get to see them. My lack of sleep had finally caught up with me so I wasn't in the best of moods at work. To make it worse, all the lovely customers in their beautiful Easter outfits kept telling me how great the weather was. That is the last thing I want to hear when I'm stuck inside working. I got off work early which was great but it started raining as soon as I walked outside. The 2 bad days didn't get to me too nuch because I can't stop thinking about Travis and that puts a smile on my face. Hopefully I'll get to see him again soon so I'll have even more stuff to make me smile and forget about the bad things.

100% Me

2005-03-22T22:45:00.000-05:00

The other day one of my friends asked me what I was thinking, even though I had a billion things running through my mind, all I said was "nothing". I trusted him with my feelings but Im just not comfortable with expressing myself. I can't sing or even draw a good stick man, all I have is my words and I still don't use them freely. So many of my friends I honestly love and they mean the world to met, yet I dont feel like I can completely be myself with them. I have friends that I show certain sides of me while holding the rest back. I dont want to feel like Im walking on egg shells anymore or that my friends are going to judge my actions and words. If I do or say something that one of them disagrees with then oh well, they dont have to like it but they can still respect and love me for being myself. This past weekend I've decided to be myself, let all sides show. If you all dont like a certain aspect of who I am, please dont judge me or be upset by it...just love me for who I am.

Big Brother, Little Brother

2005-03-17T22:00:00.000-05:00

I know you all listen to be complain about all the stuff we have to memorize for Deltasig. But there is more to the Fraternity than just work. This week was Big Brother, Little Brother week. They were suppose to leave us little treats and hints in the office of the Business building. Since I only go to the main campus on Thursday nights, my secret big brother has been sending me cute emails all week. After our meeting tonight we all met up at The Firehouse to reveal the big brothers. First of all, I was very proud of myself for finding The Firehouse cause I don't know all that much about Johnson City. The only reason I even knew where it was is because back in September me and some friends circled it about 50 times back in September on our very adventurous night out and every time we passed it Jennifer would say it was a good place to eat. But anyways. My big brother turned out to be this one girl, Heather, who has been one of the sweetest people I've met there. She gave me an Easter basket with a candle, photo album, card, and overflowing with candy. It was a lot of fun just hanging out and getting to know everyone.

Fortune Cookie

2005-03-15T15:34:00.000-05:00

I went to Moto's the other day and everyone who has ever ate oriental food with me knows my favorite part of the meal is the fortune cookies. How could you not like a cute little happy statement at the end of your meal?! This time my fortune wasn't like the normal ones you gets, it was more on a philosophical level: Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think. I'v been thinking about this every since I got it and to an extent I can agree with the statement. When I think about everyone in my life, it's always the dramatic ones that are sad and think they've been wronged the most often. And those that aren't so intense about their feelings are pretty much always positive and happy. But to me this is really sad. Sure the people that feel may get bummed out more often but I think their level of happiness is higher than the "thinkers". If the thinkers have disconnected themselves from feelings then do they really experiece any of them. Its not like you can choose which emotions to feel, its either all or nothing. So, when I first read it I thought I'd rather be a thinker so life would be a comedy but now that I've thought about it I've changed my mind. Life may be more tragic to those who feel but at least they are feeling. I'd rather experience the bad so I would the opportunity to also experience the good. I dont know...maybe I've thought about this way too much and have totally missed the point. Let me know what you all think!

The Inevitable

2005-03-13T01:30:00.000-05:00

What is the one thing that is inevitable throughout our whole lives? The answer to that question is the number one reason why many friendships don't last. People change. Countless times when I've asked people what happened to their friendship, they say that the other person changed and this is also something I am guilty of. This has made me think about not just my friends but also myself and how much we've changed. I wish people wouldn't always view the change in people as a negative aspect. Life is full of changes and as we live, we change. New friendships, new knowledge, and new experiences bring along changes in people. As we all go through our own personal experieces, we change in different ways. Sometimes we wish our friends hadn't changed at all. But if you really think about that then you wouldn't want them to stay the same. I can remember back when me and my best friend use to spend hours talking about how much we loved N'Sync and Dawson's Creek. I am very thankful that at 18 we have both changed since then even if we don't always agree on music and shows anymore. What would be the point of life if it didn't change us. Living brings along personal growth and this is an important part of who we will be in the future. I think that even through all the changes of life real friends can still find common ground and love one another for who they are in the present, not the past.

Working my butt off.

2005-03-07T04:30:00.000-05:00

For those of ya'll who don't know, I quit DialAmerica on Friday and started my new job at Captain D's today. It was so overwhelming and completely different from what I had expected. I could tell I had gotten lazy from DialAmerica from sitting and reading magazines when I had to some actual work today and about died. For 5 hours I did nothing but dining room (Yes! They actually have just a dining room position), so I wiped off tables, swept, and took out trash. This may sound like a piece of cake but Captain D's is suprisingly busy non-stop so this you're moving non stop. Trash was a whole new experience for me, theres no doubt in my mind that I need work out after struggling with putting trash in the dumpster. Some intelligent person put the dumpster on top of a hill, with no level place to put the can. So you have to throw the bag in the dump then chase after your can. This would be very amusing to any customers that happen to be in the parking lot. One thing I like but it is extremely rare, is that the managers work just like all the other employes. I've never seen this anywhere before and was shocked. I was on the register for about 30 minutes which just blew my mind. Theres so many different dinners... then to make it even more complicated, theres like 10 sides that people can choose from. I'm pretty sure I'll be able to get it all down...eventually. But for the record I just want to say that for everyone in this world who looks down on fast food employs, they need to try doing it for at least one day. I'm not saying its the most physical job you can get, but its a lot harder than an office job. But anyways, its 9:30 and I'm ready to go to bed and get rested up.

There is just something about snow...

2005-03-01T22:20:00.000-05:00

When I looked outside this morning and saw my entire neighborhood covered with a beautiful blanket to snow, I got a fuzzy feeling inside. Growing up snow was always a wonderful gift from God because it meant you got out of school, played outside in the snow, then came back in for hot chocolate while you watched cartoons. Now that I'm in the "real" world, snow doesn't get me out of school or work. Everyone knows I hate cold weather and I also hate driving in the snow. However, that fuzzy feeling about snow is still within me. I'm 18 and still have the urge to go make a snowman. Even though it scares me when Im driving, I look at all the flakes coming down and it makes me smile. Theres just something about snow that feels magical. Its like a message from God telling us to slow down and look at all the beautiful things going on around us. I want everyone to go outside today (bundled up, of course) and stand in the snow for a least a few minutes. Don't think about all the things you need to get done, just take a deep breath and be thankful for the beautiful world we are living in.

Deltasig: Am I over my head?

2005-02-25T06:58:00.000-05:00

I was so excited to go to the Deltasig meeting tonight, its so much fun! But then I got the pledge book, along with the 32 lovely questions we have to know( including the preamble of the bylaws word for word, the greek alphabet, and six provisions of the Policy). Every week we are going to have a quiz over 8 of the questions then the second week of April we are having a final test which we have to make at least a 90 on!!! This is like taking a whole another class!!! Im not feeling too positive about being able to memorize all this stuff along with my already swamped class load. After hearing about the test, we did pledge class officers. My new friend Katie, being the great friend she is, was nice enough to nominate me to be over the Activities. So now I also have to plan a fund raiser and a business event for my pledge class!! How much free time do these people think I have?? Luckily the girl over Activities in the Frat. was at the meeting tonight, noticed I looked at little distressed about the whole ordeal, and came up to after the meeting to tell me I didnt have to worry about it cause she would help me with everything. This was such a great relief, she gave me all her contact info and said she had lists and lists of ideas. I just hope I havent gotten myself in to deep and can make it through everything I got going on this semester with my head above the water!

Pledge Pinning

2005-02-18T06:05:00.000-05:00

Tonight was my pledge pinning for Delta Sigma Pi, it was really formal. 1st of all we had to dress up in professional clothes. Then we got in a line and walked into the meeting room. All the lights were dimmed, we weren't able to see the brothers sitting in the back of the room. We sat in a row of chairs set up in front of the table where the 3 main people sit. The only light in the room was the candles around this table. They read all this stuff to us and then pinned us. After that all the brothers came up to us and shaked our hands to welcome us at pledges. Everyone there is extremely nice so I'm really excited about this new experience.

Happy Valentine's Day

2005-02-14T20:01:00.000-05:00

Valentine's Day is either celebrated by couples by expressing their love for one another and calling it the most romantic day of the year or hated by singles who declare it as an evil holiday created by the card companies just to remind them how lonely they are. Over the past few years I have fallen in both of those categories but being stuck at home with strep throat over the weekend with nothing on but one romantic movie after another, I have now made my own category and hope you all will join me. America has put too many restrictions on Love, they define it as something between a man and a women who are either married or been together for a long time. But to me no man will ever be greater than those I hold closest to my heart, my friends and family. These are people who have always been there for me, even when I'm not all dressed up with my hair fixed and make up done. They love me for who I am and nothing more. I love these people more than words can ever say. Just looking at their pictures brings a smile to my face and the sound of their voices make my day a little better. I most know that if It hadnt been for them by my side then I would not be who I am today. I thank them for giving me a shoulder to lean on during the bad times, a laugh to share with during the good, and a smiling face in all the inbetween. I am especially thankful for my bestest friend who has a weird way of knowing what Im thinking just by looking at them. Words are not necessary with this person and I think sometimes I take this for granted and not let them know how much I love them. This person is my knight and shining armor. I am very proud of them for everything theyve done with their life and I know they are going to change the world just by being their great self. I think we have a very rare friendship and I would be heartbroken if they werent in my life anymore. So I am proposing we use Valentine's Day to share love and let people know how much we appreciate them. Instead of spending the day down in the dumps for not having a signifigant other, let your friends and family know how much you love them for just being who they are and all that theyve done for you. Share the love with everyone you see, even if its just a smile to a passing stranger.

"We can drive it home with one headlight"

2005-02-14T02:12:00.000-05:00

I wish this was an entry just on that great song by The Wallflowers. However, "One Headlight" also had another meaning to me this past week. Wednesday night on my way home from work I noticed that my driver's side headlight kept getting dimmer and dimmer. I figured I'd just deal with it when I got home cause theres not much you can do about it on the interstate. As I was waiting at the Lynn Garden exit the headlight went completely out. I was just 10 minutes from home so what was there to worry about. I kept driving along and talking (yes I am one of those annoying people that talks on their cell phones while they drive) and as I was turning off Carter's Valley, blue lights started flashing behind me. I seriously started freaking out, I hung up on Jason and waited patiently for the officer. A billion things were running through my head. As some of you all may know, I do like to drive a little fast sometimes but luckely for me there had been a slow person in front of me. The officer took my information and my forgetfullness caught up to me this night. The insurance card in my card had expired the day before and the new one was sitting on my desk at home. At times like this, I am extremely happy to be a girl. I just smiled and twisted my hair a little and the next thing I know the nice officer was joking about the whole situation. Thankfully I didnt get a ticket. I just want to remind all my friends to drive safe cause you just never know when those blue lights will come up behind you.

"A brother is a brother for life"

2005-02-12T19:14:00.000-05:00

I'm pledging Delta Sigma Pi! Don't worry guys, its not your typical Greek Life. Its a business fraternity where you learn more about the business world, meet new people who are also going into business (great for networketing), and do volunteer work. I'm so excited, I found out last night that I got an invitation to join. The pledging pinning is next Thursday and I have to go to pledging meetings every Thursday after that.

Striking Gold

2005-02-06T22:05:00.000-05:00

One bad date after bad date after date, etc. starts to make you feel hopeless. It's like you'll never find someone who you click with. So when you finally do meet someone great, it makes it all that more special. I've been talking to this guy Jason for over a month now but nothing had been coming from it. Last week he started calling me every day and we would talk for at least an hour at a time. I usually dont talk on the phone very long so this was a big deal to me. He finally asked me out for Saturday night. We went out to eat, to see a movie, then hung out at his dorm with some of his friends. It was an amazing date... first of all he gave me a dozen pink roses and a stuffed dog. He was a total gentleman, he open every single door for me including the car door. I make him really nervous, it was so cute. I was just amazed!! I had so much fun with him!! As soon as I left, I called my best friend to tell her how happy I was. We talked for about 3 hours tonight and he is going to call me back in an hour. Theres just something about him that makes me smile and I feel comfortable with him.

The Heart vs. The Mind

2005-02-01T04:27:00.000-05:00

The one inner battle that everyone has is the heart vs. the mind. Thats why it is so hard for us to make decisions. One half of you is telling you one thing and the other half is telling you the complete opposite. I think Plato was right when he explained Reasoning and Senses to be two separate worlds. Theres nothing linking them to one another at all. I think this is especially true when it comes to Love. You can meet a person is who is everything youve always wanted and you enjoy spending time with them and are able to talk to them for hours but theres no chemistry (see, I told you in the last post that I'd get back to discussing Chemistry). Chemistry is the oddest thing that we just can't explain to others. For whatever reason, you can meet someone who just turns you upside down. Your palms are sweaty,youve got goosebumps, you have butterflies in your stomach, your knees get weak, your face is red, your mind is racing yet blank at the same time, nothing you say comes out the way you mean it to, etc. This is an undeniable feeling and its something you cant help. You have no choice in the matter in who makes you feel this way. Back to the inner battle... There is a guy in my life who I KNOW I shouldnt like but I he gives me every single one of the previously stated feelings plus a million more that I cant even put into words. Which guy do I pick? The one that is everything Ive always wanted, or at least so I thought, or the one who I can barely stay standing up when I see or talk to him. My mind says to go for guy number one, he has the qualities that will provide my needs and wants. He's a great guy with no bad faults, so whats not to like? But my heart tells me to go for the second guy, just seeing his number on my caller id brightens up my whole day even though I dont know what to say when he answers. People warn me not to date the second guy, that nothing good can come out of it. But can I live life denying what my heart is telling me, well more like screaming?? The more I think about, guy number #1 seems like a safe bet. Im least likely to get my heart broken with him. Guy #2 is the wild card, the risky choice. Theres a good chance of getting my heart broken but theres a bigger chance of living life. Do I go with the safe and dependable or go with the road not taken; the unknown. It's like trying to decide between two separate lives without knowing what they are. Choosing between your heart and your mind can make a big difference.

Striking Out in the first month

2005-01-30T22:33:00.000-05:00

January is coming to an end and so far 2005 hasn't been my lucky year for love. 1st strike: Matt, a great guy I met at the ETSU bookstore. He is cute, funny, sweet, caring, and just an all around an amazing guy. I went out with him and we had a lot of fun hanging out but there was just no chemistry (but I'll talk about chemistry later). He's the type of guy I want but I just didn't have any feelings for him. Strike 2: Philip, this gorgeous guy in my Algebra class. He sat a few seats away then by the 3rd class he moved right next to me and started chatting away. He asked if I wanted to get grab a bite to eat. The only problem was he smells exactly like an ex boyfriend. When I'm around him all I can think about is my ex. This is not something I can ignore because that paticular ex is someone who will always be in my heart and a little piece of me will always love. Strike 3: a cute guy at work. I just started a new job in telemarketing and this week was placed next to a cute sophomore from ETSU. I spent the entire week flirting with him, we had great conversations between phone calls that felt like we were the only two people in the room. Other people would hear bits of our conversations and I had no clue what was going on, we were in our own world. Friday night I find out he had a girlfriend and felt like I had wasted my whole week flirting with him. So here I am, just looking for the right guy but always coming up empty handed.